He Said She Said

Liam commented on my last post that "when it rains, it pours," and he's right. And the rain's far from over.

I set out yesterday afternoon with the intention of meeting up with Aiden after class, and my plan was to explain what Kevin and I had agreed on, and then tell him how things really are. Yes, I was going to leap off the cliff and tell him I loved him. I should have known that when everything is failing, nothing goes according to plan.

Kevin asked me to go to lunch with him, so I went, figuring I would just meet Aiden afterwards. I picked Kevin up at his office and the first thing he said to me was, "I just had a conversation with an absolutely lovely woman."

"Oh," I said, not particularly interested.

"Do you want to know who that was?"

He was clearly going to tell me anyway, so I said, "Sure."

"Aiden's wife."

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that one. He had agreed with me when we met her that she gave off a creepy, nasty vibe, so why the sudden change of heart? Apparently he talked on the phone with her for two hours that morning, and she cried the entire time and told him a completely different story than what Aiden had told me. She said their life hadn't been unhappy at all, that it had been perfect up until a month ago - just like what Kevin's been saying about us. All sorts of other inconsistencies came up, as well. Aiden told Kevin on the phone that morning (because Aiden had been stupid enough to call my phone before I left the house) that he hadn't smoked weed in four years...but Lily told Kevin that Aiden had failed a drug test just two weeks ago.

She said that she was the one who took care of their son, not him, and that she had no idea where all his money was going...their house is in foreclosure and none of the bills are paid, and she can't figure out why. He told me triumphantly that she couldn't work because she had a felony conviction, and seemed disappointed when I said I already knew that. He also told me that he was shocked I wasn't angry.

He doesn't seem to realize that I'm not a person who just flies off the handle automatically upon being told some potentially sketchy news. Yes, I was a little upset, but I wasn't about to just believe what he said without talking to Aiden. Kevin said I should confront Aiden and "get him to confess," and that he'd like to be there to watch. I decided without saying so that confronting him on my own was a much better idea and more likely to get the truth, since Kevin has a way of coming across as very pushy and controlling, whether he means to or not.

"He's a player," he told me. "He got into your head and made you not love me anymore...I don't know how he did it, but I want you back." I disagreed with that but said nothing. I'd find my evidence first.

Kevin thought I was mad at him, because I left lunch having said almost nothing, with what was probably a scowl on my face. I wasn't mad at anybody just yet; I was on a mission to find the truth, and when I'm on a mission, I've been told I look pretty scary.

I told him I was going to the mall, then drove straight back to town and demanded that Aiden meet me. He showed up immediately, looking apprehensive as I marced up the street toward him.

"You probably want to slap me," he said by way of greeting.

"No," I said. "I want you to talk."

"About?"

"I've heard some pretty nasty things about you in the last twenty-four hours," I announced.

"Shall we find a place to sit?"

"Sure." We headed up the alley and sat on a guardrail in the back parking lot, and I passed on everything Kevin had just told me, one piece at a time so he could make his explanations. Halfway through, Lily called and he wandered off and talked with her for a while while I texted Wren.

When he got off the phone, he handed me the opportunity I had been looking for that morning on a silver platter, and I deliberately passed it up.

"You know," he said, "This could be worse. I could so easily have fallen in love with you."

I made a face, smiled, looked away, and kept my mouth shut.

The long and short of it is that he had an explanation for everything, but not in a way that made me suspicious. I didn't feel like he was making excuses or fabricating stories, and I was glad I'd asked. I'm good at knowing when people are lying to me, and what Kevin had said about Aiden just hadn't felt right. In an hour, Aiden and I were laughing again. We went and got a coffee, then went for a walk. We seem to function best when we walk and talk. Actually, it's more like power-marching and talking.

As we went, Kevin started texting Aiden, and though he didn't say anything inflammatory in reply, the messages kept getting angrier and less civil, more accusatory, with more capital letters. I'm familiar with Kevin's fighting style, obviously, but this was over the edge even for him, especially after he'd agreed about twelve hours before to me that he would be civil with Aiden.

I don't begrudge him his anger - I'd be angry too if we were in each other's shoes. But the switch in my head flipped at one particular message: "You tell her to COME RUNNING BACK TO ME!" Nobody tells me what to do. Aiden knows better than to even try, but Kevin tried on both of us at once.

When we were done with our walk and thoroughly friends again, I ran home to grab my new cell phone that had just arrived in the mail, and decided to take a quick shower before going to the mall to activate it. Kevin had texted me to say he'd be a few minutes late getting home from work - but he was early. When I got out of the shower he was sitting on the bed, and I jumped, startled. I'd already decided I wasn't coming home after my trip to the mall, that I would find a friend to take me in for the night, and I was in no mood to talk to him.

He insisted that he come with me to the mall, and I insisted that he not. When he finally gave me an annoyed hand-wave and a "Fine! Go!" I went. Aiden called while I was driving to tell me that Kevin and Lily were meeting up to talk. The phone activation didn't happen; I did reach the mall, but they told me the phone was on a lost-or-stolen list and I would have to return it. Pissed, I grabbed a slice of pizza and sat down to eat it before heading on my way again.

My phone buzzed - text from Kevin. "Would you like to meet with Lily? I can arrange it." More annoyed now, I hung up with Aiden to return the message.

"I know ur with her why dont u just be honest."

"That's why I suggested it."

I finished my pizza, went back to my car, and returned Aiden's call; then had to hang up again to answer more texts.

"I'm trying to call Aiden, let him answer his phone."

"I'm not with him."

"Didn't say you were."

Lily demanded that Aiden show up where they were, even though he had to bring their kid, and he called me and told me to come too. I was forty minutes south of where they were meeting, but I made it in under thirty.

Kevin told me where they were, and I replied, "I know." Apparently that stirred up some commotion with Lily accusing Aiden of having met me there before, which was entirely untrue. Turned out no one passed on the info that he called me and gave me directions, and Kevin couldn't figure out how I knew my way there, so they jumped to the worst conclusion.

When I showed up and figured out that they were out behind the restaurant and not inside it, Aiden and Lily were arguing a few yards away and Kevin was waiting for me with his head down. He reiterated that Lily was a lovely woman who had never done a day of wrong in her life and that Aiden was a lying scumbag and a player, then "introduced" me to Lily and walked off with Aiden.

I didn't have much of anything say, aside from giving her an apology, but she had plenty. I stood and listened while she ranted about her life and her horrible husband, what a trickster and a con artist he was, how "I know because I fell for it!" She said she was the one who took care of the kid, that she couldn't work because had disabilities, and basically gave me the perfectly rosy side of the story that blamed me for everything. I may sound bitter, but I don't mean to. I didn't take any of it personally; I'm good at giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and listening fairly to each side before I form my own opinion.

I lost track of how long we were there before Aiden and Kevin finally reappeared. The four of us stood together for a few minutes, Lily ranting at Aiden almost the entire time.

Finally Aiden addressed me directly. "Would you say that what we had is over?"

Normally I would have asked him to specify, but I find that people who aren't very close to me get annoyed by my constant questioning for specifics, so I didn't. "Yes," I said, swallowing hard. It was a lie.

Eventually Kevin pointed at me and Aiden and said, "You two need to talk."

We looked at each other, shrugged, and fell into step together, heading at a forced-march pace for the street.

"Do you hate me yet?" he asked.

"No. I reserve judgement until you talk."

"What did she tell you?"

Once again, I repeated everything and let him explain his side, replaying our earlier meeting. Then he told me what Kevin had said to him...and by the time we'd reached the second pharmacy in record time, which was quite a ways a way, we were laughing about the whole thing again.

"It's gone like this," I said, holding up my fingers so that they made two sideways V's in the air, open ends connected, and then turned one of them upside down. "They're best friends now, and you and I are best friends."

"Wouldn't it be great if they hooked up?" he said with a grin.

"Ha, that would solve everything," I said, laughing, and the last of the remaining tension was broken.

Lily stopped by us in her car on our way back to try to convince us we wanted a ride, but we said no and kept walking. We stopped on the sidewalk when we were in sight of Kevin and Lily, who were talking again, and continued our conversation. Having had to shut up my cell phone several times by that point, I finally said I had to go, and told him that he would be welcome at whatever friend's house I decided to hide out at.

"Don't tempt me," he said.

"I'm not tempting you, I'm offering," I said.

When we reached Lily's car, Aiden got in and I walked off with Kevin.

"Hey, are we going to talk?" he asked, and it was all I could do not to roll my eyes. I couldn't think of a single thing we hadn't said several times already. "Can we go somewhere warm?"

I wasn't cold, but I agreed anyway, in the hope it would somehow get me out of there faster. We went into the restaurant while I listened to my voicemail. There was one from my mom telling me she'd had a bad day and wanted me to call her, and it sounded suspiciously grim.

"Did you call my mom?" I asked Kevin, and believed him when he denied it. "Damn. There's something else going on."

I ordered a tea and gave her a call, and fortunately it wasn't as bad as I'd been afraid of. She had had to put a cat to sleep that day, one that she was pet-sitting for, and had also wanted to know what my rather morbid Facebook status had referred to. I told her I would explain another time, and then she put my uncle on the phone.

"Hey, I've been wanting to come out and visit you guys and see your new place!" he said enthusiastically. Talk about the worst possible timing. I told him he should come see the restaurant I work in, then told him I would call him back after Spring Break.

I had nothing new to say to Kevin. I made the point that I didn't think anyone was really lying, but I still believed Aiden's side of the story. He didn't seem to care about that, though, being too busy saying how much he loved me and how strongly he believed that "spark" was still there and how if I would just stay it would all be fine. Finally he stopped repeating himself and asked what I thought.

"I need some space," I answered, "To think this out. You're badgering me."

"Oh. Well, if you want to go up to Eben's house tonight...I'd rather you stay, but if you need the space, go."

I'd been trying to imply that I needed weeks or even months worth of space, but he hadn't wanted to hear that.

"Are we still going to Atlantic City? Please?"

It sounded like a terrible idea to me, but I agreed anyway, because I do want to go. We leave on Sunday. He thinks it's going to be our big chance to reconnect. I think it's going to be a living hell.

When we finally left, Aiden and Lily were still in their car in the parking lot. Kevin went over to talk to them when Lily rolled her window down, and I accompanied him until I realized that he was just going to keep repeating his dogmas and that I wouldn't be of any use. I hopped in the car and took off, stopping at home just long enough to get my cell phone charger. Then I cranked the Marilyn Manson and lead-footed it up to Eben's.

After I explained my predicament to Eben and his housemate, Dan, his advice matched my own thoughts: get my own place for a while and back off from everything until I can sort out my own mind. At one o'clock I went to Wren's for the night, since I was more comfortable crashing there than at Eben's, and told her the whole story.

She had apparently answered her phone earlier while half-asleep and gotten an extremely garbled version of the story from Kevin, something along the lines of "she went down his pants and he has HPV and we all went to dinner tonight." I straightened that out and added all the necessary details, and her advice jived again: get the hell out. Kevin is insane and treats me like a child.

I slept better on her pullout couch than I'd slept in months in my own king-size bed, and woke up in a pretty good mood. I snuck out of the house, since she was still asleep, and drove back down in time for my second class of the day. My decision is made. I'm going to tell Kevin that "space" means my own place for at least a month, not a night with a friend. I have to get the fuck out.