My anthem for the last three weeks...
Woke up and I feel like shit
I don't remember last night, I'm getting sick of this
I hit the bottle when I got off stage
And got piss drunk stupid and I went in a rage
I think I mighta got in a fight
Because my knuckles are bloody and I don't feel alright
I hit the bottom and I don't even care
You say I'm going to hell but I am already there
Sick and tired of being sick and tired
I wanna be free from this ball and chain and
Be free from this life of pain and
Be free from this ball and chain
I wanna be free from you
Now I'm full of guilt and shame
I can't point a finger cause there's no one to blame
So I say you'll never do it again
But when the sun goes down, you are my only friend
I think that I am starting to see
I have become everything I never wanted to be
I'm really getting sick of myself
'Cause when I look into the mirror, I see somebody else
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I remember MY personal guilt and shame. Gut-wrenching, world dividing, crushing weight that sucks your world down to a selfish tunnel vision. The only solace I found was to keep telling myself "suck it up and keep it in. Each day it will hurt a little less." I think it took a year for it to bleed back to the shadows of my mind.
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