The Balance

I came up to my mom's house yesterday to provide tech support, get my car serviced, and get some peace. I was originally supposed to drive back down this afternoon, but upon finding out that the car had a damaged rim, had to stay through until tomorrow so it could be fixed.

Kevin and I get along better when we're not near each other as often. I know that's me; if he had his way, we would be together twenty-four/seven and it would be perfect. I, however, need my me-time, on a regular basis and in significant amounts. While I believe that everyone needs that to a certain extent, some people more than others, there are days I wonder whether he even needs two seconds a day to himself. It's like he exists entirely for me, has substituted my reality for his own (as Eben so neatly put it), and it's annoying as hell.

We're chatting right now about why I came back to him after our first breakup, and I'm trying to pull out answers to questions that I don't know the answers to, and trying to put them in words that aren't insanely insulting. I know I need to move out, but now I'm wavering between moving out and breaking up or just moving out and getting space, and continuing the relationship. I've actually told him that dilemma, which wasn't quite in my plans, but being honest doesn't feel like a bad thing. I've done enough plotting and lying and stupid crap, a little honesty is good for me.