Family Bitching

I am sick to death, so to speak, of funerals. More people have died in the last six months than I care to think about. When I heard last week that my grandmother had died (somewhat unexpectedly), I was just numb. I sat through her service today and was the only one in the room that didn't cry.

When I told Aiden about it on Monday, he said, "What is this, I fuck up people's lives and then kill their grandparents?" It sounds harsh, but I laughed. He said that because Lily's grandfather died the same week that everything blew up between us two couples.

I'm heading back to the house tomorrow after brunch at my aunt and uncle's place. As always with a large family, there's been some extent of drama, though this weekend has been much tamer than many. It started with my mother telling me that Kevin was not to come with us, even though I said I'd like him to be there. Not wanting to fight with her, I said that was fine...but I wished today that he was there to hold my hand and hear all the stories everyone told about Gramma. He met her at Christmas and liked her, and I felt bad telling him he couldn't come pay his respects. At least he knows those were my mom's wishes and not mine. Now, of course, he's convinced she hates him.

My uncle, dad's youngest brother, took me aside today to have a rambling discussion about how he promised my dad he'd take care of me, and so he feels responsible for me, but he's not a parent and doesn't know a lot of things about kids, and finally that I'm "smarter than he feared." This sort of awkwardness is typical of this particular uncle, though there was a difference this time: he treated me like an adult. Every time before this he's tried to keep things from me because I was "too young," and though I protested vigorously, I could never change his mind. I guess turning twenty-one did for him what my words never could.

Apparently the days when I was a stripper are the buzz of the family. That doesn't bother me; I don't care who knows about that. I refuse to be ashamed of it. The one thing that does bother me is that my mother told me not to tell anyone, that we were going to keep that information to ourselves. I told her it was my business who knew that sort of thing, and she argued with me. Now apparently it's everywhere, and I know damn well it wasn't me that passed it on. Seriously, I don't care who she tells. I just wish she'd be honest about what she's going to spread around. Come on, even Aiden warned me he had HPV before we got naked.