The Un-date

To start with a quick side note that amuses me highly, I am writing this in class since it's safer than writing it from my house. It's a computer-education-purposed classroom, with rows of monitors on large tables, and I sit on the end with a wall on my left and another student on my right. When the guy sitting in the chair next to me today saw what blogs I was reading and commenting on, he logged out of his computer and moved to the other end of the table. I love those people - they make me laugh, and they remind me just how forbidden some of these lovely topics are.

Anyway. Now that we've had a laugh, the rest of this post is going to be a combination of happy and sad, but I'll stop giving previews now and just do the show.

Aiden works another job aside from the diner, as an office assistant in the next town, and we met up yesterday on his lunch break. I got off the bus at the bottom of Main Street and walked up the hill towards the four-way stop light at the top. As I reached the crosswalk, I saw Aiden coming toward me on the other side of the street. He paused long enough to glance around, then sprinted across the street against the light. He gave me a kiss, and then we started walking back down the street together.

"You are the victim of my boredom," he said, handing me a paper cup. I took it cautiously and peered inside. It was filled with unbelievably tiny paper cranes, made out of gum wrappers and tea bag tags.

"Wow!" I said, impressed, and tried to hand the cup back to him. He shook his head.

"Yours now. Throw them at people in class or something, it'll make them wonder." I laughed, already plotting what could be done with such strange little items.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"Don't care, where do you want to go?" I replied.

"Oh dear." I go through this routine anytime I meet up with anybody, and it always makes me laugh. "The Vietnamese place?" he asked, gesturing across the street.

"Sure." We jaywalked through a line of cars stopped at the light and squeezed down the tiny alley leading to the back parking lot and the restaurant. Fortunately for both of us, there's only one place in that town where I'd worry about being seen with him; I've never been in any of the others.

We got a table in the corner of the small restaurant and ordered our food, and talked about this and that. When the food arrived, Aiden got a weird smile on his face. I asked him what it was for.

"Does this count as, like, a date?" he asked.

"If you want it to," I answered.

"That's probably not a good idea," he said, but his smile said he was thinking otherwise.

"Okay, then it's not," I said. "Happy now?" When a few moments had passed and he was still wearing the strange expression, I said, "It's still bothering you, isn't it?"

"A lot of things are bothering me," he answered, the smile turning rueful. "This is so complicated."

I sighed and nodded. "That it is."

"Have you ever had a real, in-person affair before?" I asked.

He shook his head and held his hand in the air so I could see his wedding band. "Not since I married my wife."

But he took my hand over the table and held it while we ate. One of my fingers was squeezed painfully into the edge of the table, but I didn't move, and it eventually went numb. We talked about Lily, his wife, who he said he would have been rid of long ago if he didn't have his son to worry about.

I pointed out that kids aren't stupid and know when their parents are unhappy; my parents hated each other for as long as I can remember, and I begged my mother more than once to just "get the damn divorce and get it over with." But that's not what worries him the most.

"I'm afraid she'll use him as a playing piece," he admitted. "She'll use him to get what she wants, and she'll probably move far away and I'll never get to see him." Another situation I had nothing to say about, since it's out of my realm of personal experience.

We talked about Kevin, too. Aiden knows my worries about Kevin's violent streak and what would happen if he ever found out about us.

"I don't like that he wants to kill me," he said, and I snorted sarcastically.

"No one would, and neither do I."

"Has he actually said that? Does he have it out for me for some reason?"

"He threatened you before anything was going on between us," I said, and got a very puzzled look. "I was telling him what you said about Lily," I explained, "And he said, 'That boy needs a girlfriend.' I protested that you were married, and he said, 'He needs a girlfriend. He just better not be looking at you - I don't want to have to kill him.'"

Aiden tried to laugh, but neither of us found it particularly funny.

"I'm serious," I said, "When I say that if he ever found out, I'd be concerned for your life."

That effectively killed the conversation, so to speak. A spectacular awkward moment arose as we looked at each other, then tried to find something else to look at in favor of sitting and staring. I bounced my leg so hard my entire body rocked. Most people make fun of me for that habit, but he said nothing. I know now why I don't usually go on "dates" when things first get going with someone; it's too damn awkward. So that's why a movie is a good first date, and not lunch.

Sorry, I forgot - it wasn't a date. Even though we started making out over the table after our dishes were cleared, then sat and held hands while the conversation continued. He said that he wasn't a violent sort at all, that he's a huge teddy bear and incapable of hurting anybody. I didn't say as much, but it was a relief to hear that from the person whose hand was in mine. The death threats against random people really are getting tiresome. Adrenaline junkie I may be, but out to kill the world I am not, and Kevin isn't capable of understanding that.

The bill came and we threw some cash on the table and got up to leave. "Yup, we're servers," Aiden said with a laugh, realizing the math came out to a 25% tip. I set a mini paper crane on the table, and we threw on our jackets and walked back outside. While it wasn't warm by most people's standards, the air actually had a smell to it for once, telling me the temperature was at least close to freezing instead of many degrees below it.

"How tall are you?" Aiden asked me, and I suddenly felt like I towered over him. "Five-nine, maybe?"

"Yep. How tall are you?"

"Five-six."

I just laughed. "Not like I care."

"Hey, I make up for my lack of height in other aspects."

I giggled, knowing it was the truth, and he leaned in and kissed me. He's a good kisser, and his lips are soft. I let my worries go and just enjoyed the moment, opening my eyes for a second to sneak a peak at him. A thrill of excitement ran through me, and I closed my eyes again.

The air in the alley as we walked up was cold, and emerging back on the street into the bright sun was a pleasant shock. He lit a cigarrette and we started walking around aimlessly, talking about our relationships again.

"So, yes," he said, returning the topic of having affairs. "You're the first girl I've kissed besides my wife in eight years."

Some part of me wanted to feel honored, and another part wasn't sure if that was right. Hell, it's a feeling - who cares if it's "right." I felt honored. We wandered up to the light, down the cross street, up through the lower parking lot, back to where we started, across the street, through an alley into the upper parking lot, down a back street, and then finally back to the main road and up the hill to his office.

"All right," he said reluctantly, "I have to go back, as much as I'd rather stay." He stomped out his third cigarrette - or was it the fourth? I'd lost count. He paused for a moment on the step to the front door, made some ambiguous comment about Lily, then kissed me and went back inside.

I walked back through the light and down the hill to the bus stop wearing what was probably an alarming and psychotic-looking smile. Leaning against the bus shelter, I pulled out my phone and texted Wren.

"omg I just had a legit date! btw did u get any sleep last night?" She's also in the process of aquiring a new boyfriend, but for once she's the one doing it the honest way, as she's single and so is he.

"No! but he broke all ties w bitchface. R u home? get online!!"

I told her I'd be home in half an hour and would do so. As I was coming up the last road before my house, my phone buzzed again.

"Bitch where r u??!!"

Then, a minute later, "omg I just totally sent that to mike by mistake."

I was in hysterics by the time I got in the house. Leave it to Wren.